What Can You Control? A Simple Exercise for Baseball Players and Parents
You strike out looking on a pitch you thought was outside. Walking back to the dugout, you’re thinking about the umpire, your batting average, and whether your coach will give you another chance.
All three thoughts might feel important. But what can you actually do about them right now?
That’s the question behind the circle of control: a simple exercise for separating what you can act on from what you can’t decide.
You don’t have to stop caring about the outcome. You’re learning where to put your attention.
Draw Your Three Circles
Grab a piece of paper and draw a small circle inside a medium circle inside a large circle.
Label the center Control, the middle Influence, and the outside Outside My Control.
Now think about your baseball experience. What’s been frustrating you? What are you worried about? Write each concern in the circle where it belongs.
The Center: What I Control
These are the choices you can make yourself:
Preparing your equipment before practice.
Paying attention when a coach explains a drill.
Practicing with purpose.
Hustling on and off the field.
Choosing what you say after a mistake.
Asking for help when you don’t understand something.
Notice what isn’t on that list: getting a hit.
You can prepare for an at-bat and make good decisions, but you can’t guarantee where the ball will land. A goal can be getting on base. Your job is to identify the actions that give you a chance.
The Middle: What I Can Influence
These are things you can contribute to without deciding the outcome yourself:
Your team’s atmosphere.
Communication with your coach.
How supported a teammate feels.
The opportunities you earn over time.
You can encourage a teammate, but you can’t choose their mood. You can ask your coach what you need to improve, but you can’t write the lineup.
Influence still matters. It just comes without a guarantee.
The Outside: What I Can’t Control
This circle might include:
An umpire’s call.
The weather.
How well the other team plays.
A bad hop.
Whether a fielder catches your line drive.
A coach’s final lineup decision.
These things can affect your game. Being outside your control doesn’t make them unimportant—or mean you have to be happy about them.
It means you need a different question: “Given what happened, what can I do next?”
Try It With a Real Baseball Frustration
Suppose you write: “I’m upset that I’m batting near the bottom of the lineup.”
The lineup decision belongs in the outside circle. A conversation with your coach belongs in the influence circle. Preparing for that conversation and following through on the feedback belong in the center.
Your next step might be:
“At practice, I’ll ask my coach for one specific thing to work on, then make a plan to practice it.”
You haven’t guaranteed a different spot in the order. You’ve given yourself a useful action.
A Parent Version
Parents can do this exercise, too.
You can control how you speak to your child after a game, whether you listen, and what you praise. You can influence the tone of the ride home. You can’t control your child’s performance or make disappointment disappear on command.
Try asking:
“Do you want to talk about the game, or would you rather take a break?”
Then, when they’re ready:
“What’s one thing you want to work on next time?”
The exercise should give a player some ownership, rather than become another evaluation of their performance.
Finish With One Action
Look at your completed circles and choose one concern that’s been taking up too much space.
Then finish this sentence:
“I can’t decide __________, but at my next practice or game, I can __________.”
Keep the action small and specific.
Baseball gives you plenty to think about. You don’t have to solve all of it at once. Start with the next choice that belongs to you.
